A Dogs Ten Commandments
One - Food left unsupervised on a table has been abandoned. Abandoned food can be claimed by whoever finds it first. However, there is a time limit, so either eat the food immediately, or stash it somewhere safe (see commandment number 2).
Two - The best place to hide food for later on is in plain sight. Try behind the sofa cushion or tucked down the side of the sofa – humans rarely pull apart the sofa to vacuum, so your food should be safe for a couple of weeks. Just plonking it on top of the bed is usually a bad idea – the humans spot that pretty quickly.Three – Anyone on a skateboard or a bicycle is a monster in disguise. Bark loudly and often until they go. This is very effective – it works every time!
Four – Perfect the art of looking thin at human mealtimes. It is possible to make your face look really thin, no matter what size you are, so humans feel sorry for you and give you food from the table. If you are carrying a little extra around the middle, make sure you sit so that the pudgy bits are less visible and they just see your staving face.
Five – Don't give the ball back. They'll just throw it again. Make them work for it by chasing you or trying to wrestle it out of your mouth. They need exercise too you know.
Six – the best way to get attention is to bark. Humans immediately want to know what you have seen that they haven't. If you want to play and they don't, just look out the window, bark once or twice (seriously), and they'll come straight over to see what the problem is. Now shove your toy at them and smile. If all else fails – shiver uncontrollably. All humans respond to this, usually with cuddles.
Seven – Do what you can to feel the wind through your fur. Run really fast. Hang your head out of the car window. Hitch a ride on a motor bike. Pretend you're a sled dog in the Antarctic.
Eight – Don't let them put clothes on you. We're dogs – we already have fur coats (unless you are one of those little Mexican hairless things). It's demeaning and silly and we don't care if it is Christmas!Nine – If you are left alone in the house, it's OK to trash the place. But only do this once, or you might find you are not allowed in the house. Every dog is allowed one rock star moment to totally trash the place when left alone for a few hours. Just make sure you are standing in the middle of the mess with a silly grin on your face when they get home, so that they know it's a joke.
Ten – Reward humans when they are good. Everyone needs positive reinforcement when they do something good, so let your owners know when they have done well with a lick, a cuddle, or by laying your head on their lap. You can reward them for giving you treats, scratching your head in just the right place, taking care of you during thunderstorms, taking you for a ride in the car or taking you to the dog park.
By: Diane Ellis
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